Ninety Days Sober And I’m Still Here

Modern Mommy Madness

I’m 90 days sober. This has been the longest, most painful, humbling, frightening, and eye-opening experience of my life.

When I first became a mother, I remember thinking that childbirth was the most painful, humbling, frightening and eye-opening experience of my life. It’s empowering to bring life into the world. The fragility and toughness of babies and vaginas and just the whole motherhood thing really blows my mind. But this.

This.

I was so walled over with addiction, resentment, and pride, so deep into self-medicating to avoid reality, that I had no idea how messed up I was. I still don’t know how messed up I still am, even 2,160 hours into recovery. I don’t know how long or for what reasons I stayed there, hiding from my life, avoiding the discomfort of uncomfortable emotions. I liked it there, in the dark. It felt safe. I mean, a baby feels…

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I Got it from my Mama

IMG_6587This girl is quick witted, tender hearted and the love of my life. I want the best for her, but I can’t always afford to give her everything she deserves. I shop smart and this is how we afforded this darling outfit.

The white graphic t-shirt I purchased at The Children’s Place – $4.99

Blue hombre plaid shirt and the rhinestone accented jeans were both bought at a thrift store for $0.99 x2 =$1.98

Blue bandana scarf used as a headband from Walmart fro $0.99

Grand total -$7.96

Shop ahead.

Shop the sales.

You got this mama!

 

Forty and Semi-fabulous

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I turned forty and my and body literally started to fall apart. It was as if the universe knew I hit the big 40 and said, now you are going to start dying. The next year, my thoughts were consumed with death. Exactly how many years would I be blessed with? Would my body even make it to my fifties?

I spent the majority of my twenties and thirties trying to “find myself” only to realize when I turned forty, I had no idea who I was, or what I wanted my life to be. I was devastated, depressed and in a major funk. I had resigned myself to sitting in a rocking chair and becoming a decrepit, bitter woman. Then my sister sent me this:

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.

At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.

At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 28, Wayne Coyne (from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook.

At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.

At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs.

Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51.

Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40.

Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40.

Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42.

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR movie role at age 52.

Kathryn Bigelow only reached international success when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57.

Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76.

Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78.

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow.

Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it.
Never tell yourself you missed your chance.
Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.
You can do it. Whatever it is.

(original post by Drew Forrester)

You are not your age! You are a powerful woman, and at anytime you can become who you desire to be. Embrace the life you want to have, we get one chance in this world, leave your mark so that others may follow your lead.

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Why am I in Hawaii?


Why in the world would I take off from Christmas tree trimming and holiday baking to go to Hawaii? The reason I’m here is to honor the veterans of Pearl Harbor, those that lost their lives and the ones who survived. 

I always knew about Pearl Harbor but to hear the stories of survivors make me realize how deep of a debt we owe them. 

One story especially grabbed my attention. I was listening to the radio about 9 months ago when I heard about a survivor, Don Stratton I then immediately called my dad, an author, Ken Gire. I said “dad, you have to write this man’s story.”


I’m still in wonderment that he jumped on the story. So, here I am 9 months later, in Hawaii with my dad and survivor, Don Stratton of the U.S.S. Arizona and his amazing family. 


The press surrounding this book has been phenomenal. It is a heartfelt gripping story. The book title is All the Gallent Men.  You can find this book in Walmart, Target, Costco, Sam’s Club and Barnes and Noble. You can also click here and buy it on Amazon. It is already a best seller. 

I hope you love the book as much as I do. This weekend I will select one random subscriber to my blog to win a signed copy of this book. It is signed by Donald Stratton and Ken Gire. Please subscribe and I will announce the winner this weekend. Aloha!🌴🙂🌺